Hi Reader,
In the wake of devastation – a fracturing coalition, a breathtaking accusation, a horrific and sweeping bill – things fall apart.
We go into damage control mode – contain it, fix it, clean it up, silence it, soften it. We deal with the destruction by avoiding it.
Our avoidance masks all kinds of tangled issues. If we went just a touch deeper, we’d find a web of deeper relational patterns, the calcification of power, our own fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses – even within the strongest communities, even with the people we care for most.
And so I’m curious – what if we stopped seeing conflict as the end of the road, and instead chose to see it as an opening?
What if we allowed the rupture to be a place of redesign?
What if we practiced a different set of skills?
This month’s essay is a guide to exactly that. It offers a way to move from the kind of conflict that implodes, to the kind that reveals, rebuilds, and renews.
Whether you’re navigating program strategy, staffing decisions, community tension, or your own internal spiral — I hope this piece meets you where you are.
🌀 And if you're craving a space to practice this work in real time, come join the next Conflict Clinic. It’s a low-stakes, high-trust gathering where we explore precisely these principles — not just in theory, but in embodied, everyday leadership.
with care and conviction,
Shivani
ps – As you read through the nine rules, I would love to know – what feels most relevant to your work right now? What conflicts are you holding that need some rethinking? Hit reply and let me know.
